First off, a teaser trailer for the Batman Begins movie is out. Download it here.
Second, "I" am writing a review before Batman Begins comes to a theatre near you because I want all the idiots to realize that judging a movie before it comes out is 'we-todd-did'.
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Batman Begins was a crappy, crappy movie. I saw it with all my uber 31337 Slashdot friends last weekend after our D & D tournament. It was all of us boys and a few girls (inflatable) too. Let me say this, Batman Begins is CAMPIER then any other Batman movie or TV show EVER. Adam West has nothing on Christian Bale. Even though Bale has played great conflicted characters previously, he fails MISERABLY at Batman/Bruce Wayne. See, I told you Bale would fail ... I said it on Slashdot July 30, 2004.
I KNEW Batman Begins would suck. Ask me how. No, seriously ... ask me how so I can prove my intelligence to you ... ASK ME HOW DAMN IT. Well, here is how I knew. Since Batman I was good, Batman II was ok, Batman III sucked and Batman IV was the worst of all ... it only follows that Batman V would be even more horrible then Batman IV with Mr. Freezeinator and Posion Ivy. I AM INCREDIBLE ... my mom told me.
Anyway, Qui-Gon Jin was good in the Batman movie ... damn I love Star Wars. Oh no, wait, I should BITCH about the prequels ... not hail them even though deep down I can't get enough of Star Wars and I own all of the VHS and when the DVDs came out I preordered them so I could get them and start whacking off to stills of Natalie Portman and Carrie Fisher... my fault. PREQUELS SUCK.
The Bat-Tractor (GET IT? IT IS BATMAN's TRACTOR ... so it is the BAT ... ... ... TRACTOR!!!! HOLY FUCK I AM SMART!!!) sucked. I mean there is NO way that turbine engine could propel Batman over that building ... WHY DON'T MOVIE DIRECTORS UNDERSTAND PHYSICS ... maybe they should have consulted me since I am a geek and therefore, a physics guru and all around genius because I spend my whole day arguing on Slashdot.
Anyway, I am sorry I have to go. Slashdot is waiting for me. Oh, and EPISODE III RULED ... ... I mean, was horrible ... yeah.