Listen to me; listen closely. Here is what we are going to do we are going to run a little pretend experiment. In this experiment we are going to involve a gi-normous hammer, six mad vicious death puppies and coffee although, it isn't really coffee, it's magma but we are going to call it coffee. Do you understand? Good.
Now that we have our ingredients let's explain what they are.
A gi-normous hammer -
A hammer of Zeus and Thor like properties. This hammer has one daily dastardly deed destruction. It specifically targets your forehead well, not your forehead but the forehead of another. A person or entity you might hate.
Six mad vicious death puppies -
What can I say about these puppies they are shit vicious. Sure, they look cute and perhaps even suitable for companionship with a human but they are really the spawn of everything angry. These feral canines start by licking gently the target of their puppy affection AND THEN THEY DESTROY IT'S VERY WILL TO LIVE AND EXIST.
Coffee (magma)
This coffee isn't normal coffee. It looks like normal coffee but isn't it's coffee. See the difference? COFFEE vs. COFFEE subtle, I know. Now, upon ingestion of this coffee you will melt from the inside well, again, not you someone you hate. That person will melt into a pile of red and then explode into small enflamed pieces of themselves. Messy, yes.
Now, pretend this experiment happened to the SAME PERSON over a period of 106 minutes. Furthermore, pretend this happened in a movie theatre. Do you understand? Now do you get it? This experiment isn't an experiment at all it is WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WENT TO THE GAWD DAMN MOVIE I HEART HUCKABEES. WHAT A PAINFUL WASTE OF 106 MINUTES OF MY LIFE. IF I WANTED TO TORTURE MYSELF I WOULD DO IT MY-GAWDDAMN-SELF, GAWD DAMN IT.