Joe Q. Blogger

Listen to me; listen closely. Here is what we are going to do we are going to run a little pretend experiment. In this experiment we are going to involve a gi-normous hammer, six mad vicious death puppies and coffee although, it isn't really coffee, it's magma but we are going to call it coffee. Do you understand? Good.

Now that we have our ingredients let's explain what they are.

A gi-normous hammer -
A hammer of Zeus and Thor like properties. This hammer has one daily dastardly deed destruction. It specifically targets your forehead well, not your forehead but the forehead of another. A person or entity you might hate.

Six mad vicious death puppies -
What can I say about these puppies they are shit vicious. Sure, they look cute and perhaps even suitable for companionship with a human but they are really the spawn of everything angry. These feral canines start by licking gently the target of their puppy affection AND THEN THEY DESTROY IT'S VERY WILL TO LIVE AND EXIST.

Coffee (magma)
This coffee isn't normal coffee. It looks like normal coffee but isn't it's coffee. See the difference? COFFEE vs. COFFEE subtle, I know. Now, upon ingestion of this coffee you will melt from the inside well, again, not you someone you hate. That person will melt into a pile of red and then explode into small enflamed pieces of themselves. Messy, yes.

Now, pretend this experiment happened to the SAME PERSON over a period of 106 minutes. Furthermore, pretend this happened in a movie theatre. Do you understand? Now do you get it? This experiment isn't an experiment at all it is WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I WENT TO THE GAWD DAMN MOVIE I HEART HUCKABEES. WHAT A PAINFUL WASTE OF 106 MINUTES OF MY LIFE. IF I WANTED TO TORTURE MYSELF I WOULD DO IT MY-GAWDDAMN-SELF, GAWD DAMN IT.

If you are outside of the United States, you may not have access to George W. Bush's re-election website.

Here is the report from Netcraft.

In the meantime, John Kerry's site remains available to all.

John Edwards is going to be campaigning in Muskegon this Friday at 12:00noon.

WHEN:
Friday, October 29
Gates open at 12:15 p.m.

WHERE:
L.C. Walker Arena
955 4th Street
Muskegon, MI

DETAILS:
Due to security, please do not bring any umbrellas, bags, or signs. Please limit personal items as well. For more information, please call (231) 737-4506.

I am not going to retract what I said yesterday until I have further proof...

Read this article.

It seems now that the material "could not be found when American troops arrived." However, that ARRIVAL date as stated by the article is April 10, 2003 ... one day after the fall of Baghdad. The CBS story I mentioned yesterday states "Coalition Forces Secure Oil Fields" and is dated March 22, 2003.

Now, I don't want to make a jump in logic and say that the Bush Administration ORDERED the oil secured before the weapons depot. However, it seems to be that the oil was secured first ... for whatever reason.

Wonderful. Now we have 'sort-of' conflicting statements ... what is important is the timeline and whether the Bush Administration had a plan to stop the explosives from being stolen.

I will follow this to see how it gets sorted out. I am not sure yet who I believe or how much I believe them.

What the shit? I don't understand this ... how can almost 380 F*CKING TONS of explosives not be a security priority. Read this article and get pissed off.

Article quote:
U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Danforth said the Bush administration was investigating the matter.

"Obviously this is a serious matter. We are looking into it," he said

REALLY? YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT?? GREAT, THANKS! OH, AND WE APPRECIATE THE IMPROVIDENCE!!

To make matters worse ... THE U.S. KNEW IT WAS THERE AND STILL FAILED TO PROTECT IT.

Article quote:
The New York Times report cited White House and Pentagon officials -- as well as at least one Iraqi minister -- as acknowledging that the explosives vanished from the site shortly after the U.S.-led invasion amid widespread looting.

Hey ... but at least we secured the oil ... right? F*cking insane.

Explosives? Oil? Explosives? Oil? What choice? PROTECT THE OIL!

I don't know why ... but this short clip just cracks me up. LOOPTY-LOOP!

Note: (Sorry about the video format. .WMV BLEEECCCHHHH!)

Now, you have to watch this. Jon Stewart talks about his appearence on Crossfire ... and bashes them again.

In this particular vote ... we want less. ;)

Slap the YEE-HAW right out of Bush.

Thanks Mike! Everyone has to remember this.

November 2, 2004 has been designated as National Celibacy Day.

That means ... No Bush and No Dick.

Watch this. Jon Stewart DESTROYS a right-wing blow hard, lambastes a left-wing blow hard and puts to shame the (shit) CNN show, Crossfire.

In addition to the video ... here is a transcript.

I always knew he harassed his guests. However, I didn't know Bill O'Reilly was also involved (allegedly) in sexual harassment. If it is true ... I hope he gets what he deserves.

Was the President wired at the first debate?

Salon Article

Independent Picture

TOUCHDOWN!! I believe Scaled Composites has just won the X-Prize. Confirmation should be presented in less then an hour! What a great day for explorers, inventors and all those people who live to push the limits of modern society and technology.

This collage represents the debate as a whole. I call it ... Policy: Smirk

As I bring you this, I want you to keep in mind that I am resolute, steadfast and resolved. Oh, and I plan to stay the course.

PS. I don't know where these images came from they just magically showed up on my desktop this morning. ;)