"J. meet Semaj," said Nelg. "He will guide you through the application process."
With those words, the deal for the 2001 Honda Accord sedan just about ended. Nelg introduced me to Semaj who was nothing more then a con-artist. First, he asked me if he knew me from some where, insinuating that he recognized me. Yeah ... for sure, dipwad ... err, Semaj. Then, he asked me how much I wanted my monthly payments to be. What? Who CARES about monthly payments. I want a fair price on the car ... not a ripoff that I can afford.
We continued to go back-and-forth on payments and price and finally, this place was getting ready to close. Semaj was BEGGING me to make the deal that night. I told him flat out that I was NOT making a decision that night and if he forced me ... I would say no. He told me I could take the car overnight and show it to "my girl". So, I scheduled to bring it back after work the next day. ERROR NUMBER 1,002 in this process.
I brought the car home and it drove great. Amy loved the color (red) and it seemed like all was going well; except that I had to deal with a moron. I drove the car to work the next morning and again, I had no problems. Around lunch time I told two coworkers I would drive to lunch in my potential purchase. We walked downstairs to find that the TWO passenger side tires were flat. I thought somebody was going to tell me I was on hidden camera or something. I flipped out. I called Nelg and Semaj and told them both about the 'minor' issue and threatened to cancel any deal if they didn't fix the flats in the next hour. What cheap shit were they trying to pawn off on me???????????????????????
Instead of fixing the car onsite (at work) they took the car back to the shop. At that point I called Semaj and told him the deal was off. I had to go back to the shop and they were STILL trying to sell me the damn car. I told them that I was NOT buying that vehicle and Semaj started to throw a hissy. "Well, you just aren't ready to buy a car," he told me. "No," I said, "I am just not ready to buy a car from a damn liar."
And with that, I concluded my final negotiations with ANY car lot that will give a loan to someone based ONLY on whether or not they have a job.
Three facts regarding the genesis of this multi-part story.
1. I have very average credit. Not bad, not perfect ... average.
2. Since May 2004 (approximately), I have shared a car with my girlfriend. We both have school and we both have jobs. Having one car is painful.
3. Before I knew what I wanted, I went to one of those 'CARS CARS CARS. IF YOU HAVE A JOB, WE WILL SELL YOU A CAR!! CARS CARS CARS.' places. What a huge damn mistake. NO, I mean, WHAT A HUGE (*@&U#(*&@# MISTAKE.
I went to the Motor Mall of Grand Rapids. APPROVED! APPLY NOW! Fantastic. I first sat down with a older gentelmen who I shall call, Nelg. He was very respectful and took me on a tour of the car lot. I found an '01 Honda Accord coupe. The problem? It was a four-cylinder and I really didn't want a 4 ... I wanted a 6. Nelg did not really understand this but he obliged and we moved past the underpowered 4-banger. The next car I found was another '01 Honda Accord. This one was a sedan (as opposed to a coupe) however, it had a 6-cylinder. We were getting closer. I test drove it and decided I wanted to work some numbers. Their asking price was a bit high BUT ... with the condition of the car (very well used), I thought I could bring them down in price. This is when all HELL broke loose ...
Stay tuned for Part .5 ...
Same bat-time,
same bat-blog.
In the end it turned out to be con ... a bait and switch. This deception was performed by the most inherently evil of all professions; the used car salesman.
I started looking for a new (to me) vehicle approximately two months ago. I examined my needs and determined that I could use a small SUV or a mid-size sedan. Instead of going with my stand-by, a Buick, I decided to do some real research. Hondas and Toyotas ... all top notch; Chevy Avalanche ... a car I love; Ford Escape ... a good MPG SUV; Nissan X-Terra ... just cool. These were the cars I widdled my focus to.
After deciding that Consumers Report was the deity among testing firms, I chose to follow their advice. The Honda Accord. I found an '01 I liked, wheeled and dealed ... offered $16,000 out-the-door (OTD) and then got rejected with a counteroffer. Their counteroffer was $211 less then their asking price ... WHAT THE FUCK. TWO-HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DOLLARS? WHY BOTHER? That 'deal' was left to purgatory ...
I hate the way sales idiots use the word 'turnkey'. As in, 'turnkey solution'. Fuck your 'turnkey solution' AND TELL ME WHAT THE DAMN PRODUCT ACTUALLY DOES. DAMN IT.